Drafts Bin Rescues – Part A

The ebb and the flow of what you should know

In this (potentially short) series of posts, I pull out and partially complete whatever I find at the top of my Drafts bin. I’m going for Drafts Bin Zero.

This one was started days ago, and then abandoned, once it became apparent the title was more interesting than what I had to say about it.

Things done > Things not-quite done

Days go by and I haven’t the time for writing.

And then others, it’s the reading that doesn’t get done.

I have days when I do both, and those when I do neither, at all.

And this is a pattern.

And that pattern repeats.

In trying to start some things, I have often faltered.

I fail whole-heartedly, in my half-hearted flailing.

I learn that my limits are indeed limiting.

The hours just plain go, and most of the time, far too fast.

Where are all the stories I meant to write, one day?

Remember my dreams?

I was going to make a game.

I was going to draw some pictures.

I was going to have kids in between those selfish other things.

I had all this time, once – it’s half-or-more gone now.

I haven’t done everything that I had thought I would do.

I’ve done other things though, so it’s not at all been all for naught.

I had another day today, and I walked places.

I tried to slow down a little.

And just be.

And I did… I was.

For a short time, I just was.

It was nice.

I should do that more: doing nothing in particular.

Almost every day, I wake up with an idea of what I might do with the rest of it.

By the end of the day, Things have often happened.

Though often not those same Things I had thought might.

Then maybe more ideas come.

Then the sleep does… will it be more or less, is anybody’s guess.

I otherwise always have to be talking, typing, walking, or griping.

Every third or fourth time, I throw in an unsolicited rhyme.

I’m very fidgety.

It’s annoying, sometimes, it really is.

It gets older, by the day.

So do I.

But I won’t let myself be done, yet.

Not until I finally am.

10 thoughts on “Drafts Bin Rescues – Part A

    1. Thank you Suzanne! I hadn’t deliberately expected to convey hope but I am so happy that it managed to do it on its own 🙂

      I hope you’re having a wonderful winter!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Those moments where one can just be, and get off the treadmill of constant thought and self-contextualizing in time — what needs to be done, and what to worry about — are precious and make you feel as if you have much more time in your life.

    Once, when I was a kid, I was sitting in the concrete back parking lot of the apartment I lived in Van Nuys. There were a bunch of tiny, scattered pebbles, like sand. For some odd reason, I started picking them up one by one and putting them in a pile. I became relaxed, and time slowed down. I still remember that half hour or so of doing nothing decades later because it was time well spent in the present moment. The lesson there is that if you find yourself too busy, and with no free time, the cure is to take time to do nothing. Suddenly you have time.

    Ah, probably if you really are in the moment, there’s a sense of timelessness, and the merciless clock stops ticking.

    Funny thing: I like doing dishes. I found this true for a very long time. I don’t want to do dishes. I’ll groan my my girlfriend asks me to do them. But I know that after I get started I just go into a zone of doing, and it’s almost always calming and centering.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I like that story of the pebble-piling. Details in this world go all the way down and all the way up – you can have a moment with a spider or a flower or a sunrise or a stone. Sometimes (very rarely, for me, but critically, sometimes), it’s possible to be reminded that we’ve already arrived, and have been Here, waiting for ourselves to realize it. Most of my problems are certainly self-created, when I can manage to think clearly about it (or better yet, stop thinking).

      Your work as a visual artist must give you a very good opportunity to routinely go into something fulfilling and absorbing. I think having an art or craft or exercise hobby is pretty important – it can really get us out of our own heads…

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha that’s my other blog. I think this one splintered off of it because I had too many thoughts for one blog to contain. The draft bin was threatening to become sentient.

      I was thinking though that I might start siphoning the non-fiction drafts from that one over to here: This blog might become the clearing house for my Unfinished Things haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “I had too many thoughts for one blog to contain” -ugh. I didn’t mean that the way it probably sounds. My thoughts are largely just anxiety patterns in word form. Not something to want a whole lot of…

        Liked by 1 person

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